Four.

I said I'd come back with more examples, and having had about six month to think, I should really have loads of them. I don't. In my defence, I have spent most of my time with Mr Darcy:ish. Yes, apparently I've managed to e myself a something in between Mr Twat and Mr Darcy, but more Mr Darcy than Mr Twat. (most of the time anyway) It's not only been a bed of roses though, my god no. Every day is a struggle, although I'm prepared to take some of the blame for that. I know one must work on relationships, but I think this might be taking the piss.

First of all, Mr Darcy:ish is married, and his bride just happens to be someone else than me. She also happens to be the mother of his five children. And the woman he spent half his life with. And before you write me off as a immoral creature, I'll tell you that he is separated, and had been so for a while when I met him. And second of all, Mr Darcy:ish is neither getting married again, nor is he having more children. So that's that.

But he brings me coffee in bed when I'm tired and takes me out to karaoke nights, and I... I... well, I am just simply charming!